Evil birds fighting over my lunchtime crumbs.
Shoving it up where the sun don't shine. Yeah baby, reach really deep mmmm and poke some of that chocolatey bits and undigested corn kernels. I ain't shaking his hand though.
Irony.
Rodin's Porte de l'enfer being installed.
Modigliani, Rodin, G.L. Brockhurst, and A.R. Middleton Todd all in one place at the same time. What do they have in common? They've all worked with beautiful models. It's art imitating art. These guys are lucky to have exquisitely captured the nude female form with their art.
The best way to get a beautiful girl out of her clothes? It begins with the magic words "I'm an artist/photographer", then look deep into her eyes and say "You have the most amazing bone structure....."
Trust me. 99.999999% of the time she will show up at your 'studio', naked and smouldering, ready to be immortalised with a click of your camera or a flick of your paintbrush.
Of course, if you are like me, have some ice ready in the fridge and be prepared to get whacked on the head by naked girl as you bring out your, tadaaaa! - 4 megapixel 3x Zoom point and click Nikon Coolpix camera. (Worse if it's just a disposable film camera. That's three punches to the head and a kick on the nuts.)
Normally it goes "You're not a photographer, you're a pervert." Punch. Kick. Punch.
However should you manage to survive the initial blows the next magic line is "It's not the size of the tool darling. It's how you use it."
My knee. Drinking afternoon tea at the Royal Academy of Art, watching the girls go by, and Paco de Lucia on my mp3 player. This is the simple life.
Skyflakes. Goes well with extra-cold Guinness.