The eager beavers in full subfusc going to matriculation
October is party month in Middle Earth. The new students arrive, finally free from the parentals, excited and ready to flex their independence. Oxbridge is perhaps the only place where booze is handed out to freshers by the barrel by the college principal no less and if you are lucky, as I was when I first came up here, by the vice-chancellor for academic affairs. What? I see you have finished off your bottle of vintage port. Here, have another one! I honestly think half of Oxbridge tuition is used to restock those endless wine and booze cellars under those hallowed cobblestones. It's good to be a fresher - intoxicated, experimenting on soft drugs (although I must say it has gotten out of hand, two undergrads were rushed to hospital this year for taking liquid ecstasy. let's go back to safe ol' weed people!), getting deflowered, being bi-curious, passing on std's, and just generally giving the finger to the world.
Yet, you are only really entitled to this rite of passage once, or twice if you have eternal youthful looks and can pass off as an undergraduate like I can. I may be only twenty cough cough -five but I'm old enough to realise as Kevin Spacey did in American Beauty that these Mena Suvari-types loitering in Middle Earth deserve to be shown the ways of the world by someone their age. And that is why I take two weeks off every October, because by being here the temptation to cherry-pick is unavoidable and the best solution is to get as far away as possible.
HRO Karl Willem and Gromit and The Nashman, all gloriously browned, are welcomed back to Middle Earth by their loyal fans. Everyone was excited to learn about their exciting Morocco expedition.
We had a great time in Morocco. Five days in the High Atlas, followed by three chill-out days in Marrakech, two stoked days in the coastal town of Essaouira, and another two days in Marrakech left us with 3107 pictures on our digital camera. The Berbers are a cool and hospitable bunch of highlanders. Essaouira was extremely photogenic, I was so trigger happy taking pictures left and right. The food was excellent and we stayed in some really really pretty and exclusive riads thanks to our classy French landlord.
I'm going to post some pictures soon and promote Maroc. It's a fantastic place to visit.
For now, I need to reply to tons of emails and finish some errands. My snail mailbox was full when I got back. I got three letters from Parliament, from Tony B. and the leaders of both opposition parties, in response to my note for them to snub that evil Hobbit President GMA during her visit to London. Her administration is complicit in hundreds of human rights abuse and political killings and she deserves to be severely reprimanded. I heard through the diplomatic grapevine that she did try to get a meeting with any high level UK minister but in the end she only got tea with Prince Andrew, a minor royal with no real political or administrative functions. No one wanted to be seen with her.
Incidentally, while I was heckling GMA's minions during her visit, one of the news publishers present offered me a writing gig. Ha! If only he knew that I have this blog fettered with bad prose, mixed up tenses, and wrong grammar I doubt he would have invited me to write an article. I still have illusions of being a must-read columnist who gets laid every night by literary groupies and so I promised to send him a manuscript. I am not a writer but if Celine Lopez can get trees felled for her extremely horrendous work to be published in hardback even, then perhaps I have a right to dream. (Seriously, did her book really get nominated for a National Book Award??? It's utter rubbish. If you get past chapter three without throwing up you must have a very high threshold for toxic fumes inhalation.)
Congratulations Nashman, you have been chosen by Her Majesty's Secret Service as the new 007. Your mission, should you choose to accept........
I also finally got Gerry Alanguilan's cock, er I mean, a copy of his new graphic novel, Elmer, about sentient cocks. I enjoyed it immensely pero pota naman, it's bitin! I can't wait for the next installment. I won't write a review because I read comics for the simple joy of reading comics. I'm transported to my younger days everytime I leaf through the pages of comicbooks. Flipinoys excel in this literary genre and I'm more than happy to subscribe to good Pinoy comics.
HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit enjoyed Alanguilan's cock tale.
My friend told me she's preggers and that I was the father. Yeah right! I know a lot of sicko girls fantasise and dream about me making love to them and shagging them silly till their labias fall off. I am obviously flattered that I'm so desirable despite my fugliness but last time I checked I've been celibate like Mick Jagger for five frigging years. We've been taught in Pinoy Catholic school that girls can get pregnant by holding hands with boys or by sitting on the bowl when they pee or poo. I certainly have never held my friend's hands and I have my own toilet so my conscience is clear. If anyone should be pregnant, it would be my right hand.
Finally to end my two week vacation, I watched Scorcese's version of Infernal Affairs. The Departed is a very enjoyable film. Jack Nicholson is in fine form and this is the best DiCaprio film since Basketball Diaries. He became mainstream soon after. I think the last DiCaprio film I saw was The Beach. (I will NEVER see Titanic.) The Departed also has a very old school rock and roll musical score which I hope to quickly get my hands on.
While I was away, the male cloakrooms at the Rad Cam were painted a light shade of pink. It's so hip. I loves it. I need to look for my marker so I can scribble first 'hawak mo ang pag-asa ng bayan' notice.