My two experiments failed today hence I was feeling a little bit depressed. Fortunately, I was due to attend a cocktail reception at the museum where alcohol was overflowing. Better to drown my sorrows away. Of course, I started the night with two glasses of orange juice and stood just outside the service area so that I could hijack the canape trays as they came out. Why do they make canapes so small? I had to munch down 30 or so of the little urchins before my stomach was satisfied.
His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit approve of The Nashman's frocks.
At the reception I met a half Romanian-Bulgarian historian studying Sanskrit who was, get this, born in Transylvania. This makes too many Romanian coincidences for me this year that I really should stop dilly-dallying and finally go to Romania. I should also resume my Dracula research now that there are only 5 hours of daylight here in sunny England. It's much more exciting dabbling in the occult when it's dark.
Do you think it wise to serve alcohol in the middle of all these priceless artefacts?
Hurray, I found the wine table. The key to cocktail receptions is to talk only to who you think will be very interesting. There is no point meeting to too many people as you will forget their name by the second drink.
Well, she wanted a drink......
What about me? I want a drink too.
I left the party early to attend a talk by former NASA scientist and epidemiologist Prof. Greene sponsored by the Jewish society. Yes, I see eyebrows raised but this isn't the first Jewish society meeting I've attended. First of all, I'm circumcised and have long hair. Jesus was circumcised and had long hair and was a Jew......
Aaaaanyways, I still have some geek soul in me and I would not pass on the chance to meet one of the men who sent the Viking probe to Mars in 1976. The samples recovered initially pointed to evidence of life on that red rock. Sadly for conspiracy theorists and the odd alien nutter, extensive tests proved negative. (Incidentally, that probe landed on July, the same month my dad shagged my mother and I was conceived. I guess the fact that I'm writing this blog is more compelling evidence for the existence of life, maybe not intelligent life but life nonetheless.) Anyways, I had a short talk with Prof Greene about some elements of the Torah (or Pentateuch) which bugged me. Four years of Catholic cathecism at Boys' High and I'm telling you, that will scar you for life. (Not that I regret anything. Four years of Boys' High are some of my best years on this planet.) Also, none of my teachers back then could explain how some very scary and violent books on divine and human punishment (Deuteronomy, for example) can precede a very erotic book (Song of Songs - yes Dorothy, there is erotica in the Bible). Anyways I aint' going to ramble on about this as we also talked briefly about how far up the atmosphere can microbes survive, as well as intelligent design, evolution, etc...etc....
Finally, celebrity pregnancies seem to be de riguer these days. Even B-list stars need an entire PR firm to announce that they got knocked up.
Today, The Nashman is proud to announce to the entire world that he has delivered 3 short brown babies. (It would have been ONE LONG brown baby but my sphincter kept contracting).....
At exactly this time I went into labor.....
After five minutes, I gave birth naturally to three lovely babies (one, was underdeveloped and was sadly wiped away like a melted Hershey's bar by toilet paper .)
I'd show you baby pictures but Vogue magazine has exclusive rights to them.......
The Nashman's babies are protected from the paparrazi by a security cordon.