Sweetie, you only ever call me when you are blue. I don't want to die in vain waiting for your love.
A former American intelligence officer/spy/whatever stationed in Ukraine told me over beer (don't ask me where and don't ask me why and don't ask me how I was speaking to a spook that troubled night) that during the second world war in the Pacific theatre, American flight controllers would distinguish real allied forces from Japanese Kamikaze fighters masquerading as allied fighters by asking the pilot to pronounce the word "Lolapallooza" over the radio. I don't of course know if this is true (I mean, how reliable is US military intelligence nowadays anyway?) but it does look plausible as the Japanese can never seem to pronounce 'l' properly, hence they say 'roraparrooza'. As the visiting Japanese envoy told me over dinner of our hobbit president "Yu Firipinos are very rucky, you have a president who robs you very much". Hai, I agree, our president does 'rob' us a lot.
I love Japanese engrish. I mean, who in the world thinks of naming their travel agency "Kinki"? It was so hard for me to keep a straight face when telling accounts to transfer 86,000 yen to "Kinki Travel Agents" over the phone. It looked as if I was going on a sex tour. Equally amusing was my travel agent's email when I asked for a booking receipt so that I could get a Japanese visa. The email to me read:
It is sorry. The remittance of you could be confirmed. It makes make you anxious and we say an apology sincerely.
Ｋｉｎｋｉ Ｎｉｐｐｏｎ Ｔｏｕｒｉｓｔ co.,LTD
Nagano BranchTourist Nagano Bldg.,
2F1423-19,Minami-ishido-choNagano-shi,
Nagano 380-0824,
Japan TEL 81+26+227+7112 FAX 81+26+224+3728
Er, who exactly is sorry? I hope I'm not talking to a Honda robot.
Hilarious! It looked like it came out of an Japanese to Engrish transrator software. But my "Kinki" travel agent was really good and I highly recommend them when one intends to visit the Land of the Rising Sun. I just hope they did not book me in a seedy brothel...although if the Geishas do look like "Annie" (NOT "Alexis", as I wrote earlier) from Shaider, or "Pink 5" from Bioman, I wouldn't mind....Time Space Warp ngayun din.....
Nice pussy, please keep stroking my balls. I just love playful pussies.
I finally got a chance to peruse the secondary literature I had dug up from the archives from the 'Vampire' collection of the library. A lot of it was utter rubbish. I really need to get my hands on the primary sources. I read a report from the British Paranormal and Occult Society about the 'Highgate Vampire' which left me laughing in stitches. And why do they always have topless girls during their meetings? How does that help the exorcism/vampire hunting at all? (Yet, I must give them a call and attend those meetings.)
I also stumbled into a poor account on Philippine Aswangs. Mostly 'news reports' of Aswangs slurping the foetuses of pregnant women as they slept.
Yet, what left me really laughing so hard I nearly broke a blood vessel was the discovery that Philippine cinema made Vampire movies in the days of yore. I will let the titles of these Filipino Vampire movies speak for themselves.....
Vampira 1961
Ang Manugang ni Dracula 1964 (this I have to see)
Blood Thirst 1965
The Bloodless Vampire 1965 (what?)
Blood Drinkers 1966
Batman fights Dracula 1967 (Holy Toledo Batman! Pow! Bam!)
Malikmata 1967
Men of Action Meet Women of Dracula 1969 (Definitely porno)
Tore ng Diablo 1969
Curse of the Vampires 1970
The Thirsty Dead 1974
Vampire Hookers 1979 (wow! Filipinos actually made this film. I should have this retrieved. It's porno no doubt)
I say it's about time we made a new Filipino Vampire movie....if only I can think of a really blood curling title.......
Vials of The Nashman's blood. When my research medic said she would take 'some' blood for medical tests, I didn't expect her to take enough to make a large vat of dinuguan. I do hope the tests will confirm my bloodline to.......