Seriously, even Sharon Cuneta can park a couple of super ferries in those hairy holes. Can they get any bigger? They're wiiiiiiiiiide. Hey Tita Shawie, while you're in there can you dig for the lost Gospels as well? And where has KC gone? She was here a minute ago.....
Call Geneva! Tell them to stop funding those expensivo particle accelerators! Stephen Hawking roll your wheelchair to the Philippines! Kiko's got two massive black holes!
And considering how gahumongous those nostrils are, I shudder at the thought of how big his kulangot (boogers) are. I imagine he also gets additional income for supplying bowling balls. And he probably supplies 60% of the world's requirement for dark green molding clay.
What's that? Your roof is leaking you say? Just put your forefinger up Kiko Pangilinan's nose and hook enough of his kulangot to stop the leak. You can use any extra as window sealant.
I've heard that the Dutch government also wants to give Kiko its highest civilian honour for plugging their dams.
Kiko Pangilinan often wonders what ever happened to his meditation and deep breathing exercise guru. He opened his eyes and found out the guru was gone.....
Newsflash! UNESCO declares Kiko Pangilinan's nostrils as a World Heritage site. The most massive parallel cave system in the world they say.
Oh my God! Oh my God! Kiko Pangilinan is about to sneeze! Hold on the something! Run to the hurricane shelters!
Anyways, unlike most people who think bigger is better...
...The Nashman, His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem, and PA/PR Gromit are happy with the little simple things in life....
We got sent a tube of HRO Karl Willem's favorite caviar from Stockholm. It's not beluga but we loves it big time on toast with hard boiled eggs. Mmmmm. Tack så hemskt mycket!
Also, one of The Nashman's wonderful academic advisors picked up premium quality saffron from España! PA/PR Gromit will no doubt be happy to cook paella soon.....Mmmmmmm. Muchos muchos gracias!
Our medical staff are happy to announce The Nashman's improving prognosis. A little bit weak and wobbly but we're slowly regaining our strength. No thanks in small part to my dawgs HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit who always prepare my energy-boosting soul food.
HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit whip up fresh squeezed orange juice, chicken soup, rice and paprika laced outdoor reared pork sausages with English mustard and harissa sauce.
And talking about delayed gratification....
I think people have misread this cat's true intention. Her real plan is to wait 45 days for the chick to bulk up before eating it...