Drawing up an excuse list....
The girls basketball team suffered their first loss under The Nashman Era. I'm as heartbroken as they are but then again this setback gives us more reason to push harder, be more disciplined.......insert coaching cliches here.....
I hate giving the post game pep-talk - that locker room scene where the coach rallies the team and says things like "You did your best...that's all that matters." Thankfully, I got to talk to one of my bff's (best friend forever) Josh who gave me some classic lines to deliver. I hope he is drawing from his experience as the taekwondo coach in our alma mater. That, or he's been watching too many Air Bud/Mighty Ducks Hallmark Underdog Team Wins Big Feel-good movies.
The girls were very aggressive at Friday practice. They practically manhandled me. I couldn't even touch my ball which they were passing around in quick succession before penetrating the hole. I love it that my girls are normal statuesque beauties. You should see our opponents, they're either freak-show gigantors or remnants of the East German women's shot-put team. I don't want a Nancy Navalta hermaphrodite/testosterone scandal and I've personally verified in the locker room that all my players are NOT qualified to play for the mens team. Talagang inisa-isa ko sila at kinapa kung meron silang bayag. Buti naman at wala.
HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit supervise cooking.
Flipinoy comics legend Gerry Alanguilan shows how to cook Pinoy-style chicken curry. I suddenly felt homesick as my mother does a mean pinoy curry. I did however attempt to cook munggo using whatever I could grab in the kitchen cupboard. It was a semi-disaster based on my impossibly high culinary standards but it was still soul food and that's more than enough reason to be happy.
Let me clarify that I don't normally cook that way in the photo - with all the ingredients in a neat pile. Dats unli por ilustrasyon purposes laeng. Some of my girl friends, now enjoying guilt-free-hence-less-exciting-sex in marital bliss, have sent me emails asking why their version of this and that recipe ain't as good as when I did them. They forget that the most important ingredient is TLC. And TLC is something The Nashman puts lots of into his soul food. Although, if you are totally kitchen-incompetent and TLC-bereft, you can use lots of MSG.
It's funny as my father once shouted me out of the kitchen for NOT knowing how to cook. "Umik-kat ka kaddi ditoy. Awan ti am-mom nga agluto". Well dad, my michelin-starred culinary skills are probably my best asset in convincing a girl to bear your grandkids, betch. Because it certainly ain't my lack of looks and lack of a generous trust fund that will lure the women into The Nashman Cave.
Save the earth. Convert old farting Filipino Congressmen into biofuels....
My mom called me up to say that the temperature has dropped to 5C in the farm and that they are struggling with frost. Baguio is reportedly 'enjoying' a cool morning temperature of 12C. I almost don't want to know if we are late or early into the planting season. When I get back, I think I'm going to shift to marijuana cultivation as that weed is one resilient muthafucka of a crop. Farm losses due to frost is one problem but the main one is that our evil Hobbit Cheating Bitch President Gloria Macapal Arroyo and her incompetent lackeys have no sustainable long term fair-trade agricultural program. She's probably too busy giving Mike Defensor his daily blow-job to pay attention to large scale trade smuggling.
Harry, do you want to lay your wand into my cushions? Siguro giniginaw sila. Wala kasi silang suot na Baguio Bonnet panglaban sa lamig.
One of my friends wants to drag me to the theatre to see Equus. I think I know why she wants to go so badly and why she insists on paying for the expensive stalls seats. (C'mon who sits in the stalls! You don't get a full view of the stage set.) She wants to see Harry Potter show off his kit up close. I'm not too sure that I want to see a serious psychological play at the moment and the fact that Harry Potter's screwed up character in this play makes love to not one, not two, but a herd of horses.
Damn, some 16-year olds are just so lucky. Hanggang yakap yakap lang muna ha. Strict ang parents ko. Friends lang tayo. Walang malisya. Tawag pa tayo ng ibang friends at magyakapan ng hubo't hubad...
I must say that Daniel Radcliffe has a very good physique and this play will sell like hotcakes to teenyboppers who will steal from their parents' wallets or opt not to buy ecstasy for a week just to see Danny boy do one extended nude scene after another.
Except for the face, Danny boy reminds me of me when I was young and sweet 16. Also, I had better abdominal muscle definition from all the hard labour I had to do at the same age in the mean slums of Baguio. People say I try to romanticize my youth by claiming tales of hardship, but it's true. If you grew up in Baguio/Benguet, you had to carry rocks every summer to fortify your kabite (rip-rap walls) before the typhoon and landslide season.
Hung like a horse. I had a high school classmate who looks like a horse. I bet he wanted to be in this play. Pare, sumasayad.....
Yeah, I might shell out £60 to watch the play. I'll be honest - Danny boy looks pretty from those press photos and if I were gay I'd do him in an instant. On second thought, I think I'd do him anyway because I'm a narcissist and we narcissists love making love to ourselves. We should petition Bertolucci or some French auteur to direct the future Harry Potter Films to get some Hermione on Cho Chang action in Hogwarts.
Ah, what better way to spend the day....(photo by Josh Dizon)
Speaking of global warming, Josh sent me nice pics of my mates riding the waves in our beloved island of Luzon. I miss those long weekends on the beach and surfing. Of 100 waves I probably only manage to ride 2, get violently wiped out by 90, and will paddle furiously in fear from 8 freakishly high waves.
I have to point out that this picture is not entirely kosher. One, Danette (on the right) has dropped in on Jux's wave and that's a surfing etiquette no-no. Two, my friend Jux looks like he has grown a disgusting beer belly. Eww. Dude, we are only 26. What's up with the pregnancy? I guess this gives Danette the wave priority and that's why she felt it necessary to drop in. The Philippines has some beautiful coastline but this surf break is not meant for whale watching.
Get off my wave you fat lumbering blubber....
Again, let me preempt some of the nasty hate mail telling me how mean I am. I look out for my friends and this is some of the tough love I give them. It's hard enough to convince Jux to put moisturiser after toning in the morning but I'd wish he'd take care of the other aspects of his body more. To see him like this - morbidly obese and immobile saddens me. Please get in shape. Keep the waves clean and fugly-free!