Boiled cheap sausage for breakfast. PA/PR Gromit double checking if this food is actually edible as HRO Karl Willem looks on, worried. Ugh, being skint is bad for your health. I normally don't eat reconstituted pork but I need to stretch my budget. It doesn't help that the sausages look like penises. Autofellatio anyone?
My parents phoned me up this morning just to laugh at my current financial predicament. My father was at his cruelest as he described how they were about to have delicious munggo for dinner. And I know he is just being mean as he has mild arthritis and can't actually eat munggo but went on and on about how he and my mother were having a feast. The bastard actually let out a Dr. Evil type laugh as he kept saying "You don't have money? You don't have money? Mwahahahaha. Agawid ka ngaruden ah." His equally evil wife took the phone and continued the barrage "Are you eating still? And you still don't have a job? Why don't you respond to my text messages? You don't have load? I saw your ex-girlfriend and she's pregnant. Are you dating anyone....blah blah."
I hung up on them and reported them to Bantay Bata so that the DSWD can take me away from them into a foster, hopefully wealthy, home.
I went to Wytham Woods to forage for food. As I was picking berries to feed my hungry tapeworms it reminded me of that moving scene in Elvira Madigan, the two star crossed and penniless lovers subsisting on what they could find in the forest. Hmm, maybe not a good movie to romanticize my plight. Soon after, the lovers committed suicide.
Manna from heaven....
....into my hands...
What's left of the bunch.
My mangled peanut butter sandwich with Scarlet flogging a £2500 designer handbag. What I had for meriendinner. I think it's not a good idea to be reading the Financial Times' "How to Spend" insert when broke.