Oh looky, another period film. Emma Thompson? Present!
Egad, so much to do! I need three assistants! Buti pa mga Tongressman, kahit wala ginagawa, dami nila utos-pipol.
We interrupt the Bagong Karanasan sa Rio Chronicles to give you, our adoring masa, an update on The Nashman. We is practically swamped with work and we was also busy househunting.
I've been surviving on a mere 8 hours of sleep and take-away food!
My land agent was so maganda. I have to warn you though that "I don't like this room, what about you show me yours?" or "Can we test if the bed doesn't creak?" or the classic "I'm not sure this bathtub fits two. Shall we try it out?" as pick-up lines work like magic only for The Nashman.
I move out of my OX1 centre of town shag pad to an OX4-postcoded stately mansion at the end of this month. The actual address is The Mansion, Court Place Gardens, Iffley. (O ha, walang number! Hindi tulad ng 34C Block 10-A, Culiat, QC)
Malayo nga lang ng konti ang aking bagong villa. Ma-eexercise nang husto ang aking Benguet short-leggedness. (This reminds me to have my bike brakes fixed.) I look forward to the 2 mile cycling workout. (Para lahat ng muscles below my waist ay matigas.)
I looked at three properties and made my decision based on the face value of the people at the local pub. (Siemperds, at the end of the day, sino bang gustong kainuman sa pub ay mga kamukha ni Pichay? Kahit siguro lasingin mo ng husto sarili mo, hindi sila gaganda sa paningin.)
And to my long-suffering mother back in Baguio "Anihin nyo na ang mga sayote at ganja, ibenta na si Tagpi at ang mga tuta sa mga Koreans at si Muning naman sa Hopia Shop, at sabihan si itay na lakihan ang taya sa jueteng at ihanda ang mga itik para sa sabong, the rent on my new place will cost you an arm and a leg."
Of course, we is sad to move out of what has been our home for three years! It's like moving out of the Green Zone into Basra. (Take note, while I've lived here far too long, it doesn't count as my 'hometown' as some people boast in their Prenster profile. And don't bother looking for me at Prenster, I don't have an account. Tutal, sangkatutak na chaka sa Prenster na yan, why would I want to be associated with them?)
Also, they are filming Evelyn Waugh's book (again!, as in this must be the 3rd version of Brideshead Revisited) at the square today and I was distracted.
Alam nyo naman ako, may dugong Flipinoy, super-usisero to the tenth power. Ang mga Pinoy, natural commentators yan, punta nalang kayo sa outdoor chess park sa Igorot Garden sa Borham Park, andami mga magagaling na mirong nakapaligid sa bawat lamesa! Hindi pa nagsisimula ang laro makakarinig ka na ng "Ruy Lopez ti opening mo ta nalaing issu na ti Caro Kann defense." kahit obvious na ang board ay naka-hain para sa Chinese Chequers.
Aaaaanyways, I learned that Emma Thompson was in this film and I wanted to meet her so we can sit in the garden and have tea. In fact, I saw her last Saturday but she was so far for me to ask with my pretentious faux-ultra posh-Brit accent na sa ilong lumalabas ang mga vowels "So, how was your cruise with the Titanic and how are the colonies?" and "Can you please tighten my corset? Make sure both my balls are inside dahling before you pull it up."
It was funny because as I was standing in front of the Rad and one of the stars, "Ben Calder" was pointing out to me. Apparently, I was in the frame or wala lang, basta feel lang nya akong ipagtu-turo.
Sabi ko, "Fota pare, nakapareha mo lang si Mandy Moore sa Chasing Liberty, kala mo basta basta mo nalang ako mapi-finger!"
I do feel sad that he was in that film and hope he won't end up like a Jude Law, yung hanggang doon nalang palagi ang roles. Parang si Tita Flora Gasser, typecast nalang palagi na tsimims, never as main actress. Parang pag pumunta sya sa restaurant, imbis na pagsilbihan, itinuturo agad sa kanya kung saan ang kusina.
Well, to be honest like Bedol, actually nakakaiyak yung pelekolang Chasing Liberty. Para syang Baywatch, kumurap ka lang sandali hindi mo na gets yung complicated plot. Buti nalang Ben Calder's following film was with Scarlet Johansson and Woody Allen.
To be fair, Mandy Moore is cute at pwede ko syang pagpantasyahan habang ako'y nagba-bate pero hindi ko talaga type yang mga pa-tweetums. (Every after three days lang naman ako kung magbatibot. I support the One Town One Product movement, I only produce soya milk, hindi ko pinababayaang mag-diversify sya into taho. Hirap talaga maging single, ako na nagproduce ng gatas, ako pa ang mismong magpapalabas.)
Sige nga, sino sa Mickey Mouse Club ang super sikat ngayon? Yun bang nanatiling pa-inosente??? Diba sina Xtina, Justin, at Britney??? Ang gusto kong girl yung taga-Assumption. Kunwari santo, pero pagdating sa romansa kasing-basa at dumi sya ng Pasig River. (Pero hwag naman masyado madumi dahil tingnan nyo si GMA, tuluyang naging kampon ni Satanas with matching djowa na mukhang baboy-ramo. I'll spare any criticism of her children as they are only piglets.)
Mind you, my self confidence was also restored to normal levels when I saw the two leads, Ben Calder and Jean-Baptise Grenouille. Hindi naman sila ganun makalag-lag panty in person. Kung super guapo sana sila eh di kahit ako na Katolikong macho ay tinigasan sana. Hindi naman. I think lighting and cinematography make them look perfect on film. This special effect also applies to me.
Get me a good lighting technician and a touch of Ever Bilena make-up and I can look like Romnick Sarmienta. (Shet, did I just reveal my age? Plus, ayaw ko katambal si Sherilyn Reyes. Kuya Germs, lipat nyo ako sa Tuesday group with Matet! Who would have thought na maagang lumandi si Matet eh mascot lang sya noon?)
Even better, with proper lighting, camera angles, the help of Mystica's make-up artist, and if the audience squint their eyes a bit, I'll begin to look like a browner shade of Tom Cruise from Top Gun (oo, pareho kami pandak at kadalasan ang mga nali-link sa amin na babes ay mas matangkad ng konti.)
Maniwala! I did have a Top Gun haircut! Dios mio, makatatlong drum nga yata ako ng Brylcreem noon just to sculpt my hair. Mas hanep nga yung tatay ko, meron pang ala-Superman hook yung kanyang hairdo. Pwede pa nga sabitan yun ng hanger eh. (Hoy, kahit poor kami, hindi kami gumagamit ng Tancho pomade.)
Bah! Enough about my glamorous life (I'm a model for the youth.) I think I'm going to steal food from the film's catering van for my dinner. Sa kapal ng mukha ko, I had lunch with the mga alalay and production staff - chicken with tomato salsa, yum.
Hay, the benefits of being a member of a 16th century Oxbarrio College na laging ginagawang film set!
Halos maiyak nga ako dahil parang kahapon lang, naglalaro ako sa maduming Brookside Karayan at ang dugyot dugyot ko, tapos heto ako ngayon, pini-finger nalang ng dating leading man ni Mandy Moore. Pero mali yata naka-usap ko kanina, intern lang yata at hindi man lang 2nd unit director, ready pa naman sana ako tumihaya (or tumuwad) sa casting couch para lang mapasama sa shooting.
Let me perst tell you something about the setting, the novel was set in the 1940s so lahat ng extra ay may titi. Bihira pa mga girls noon sa Oxbarrio Uni. In fact, my own college only started accepting people with vaginas in the 1974. Before that, it was male dominated kaya hwag na kayo magtaka kung bakit maraming espadahan noon. Also, the cast is entirely anglo-saxon white, dahil noon bihira rin mga peasants, negro, ching chong chink, or Flipinoys (like me) na matanggap dito.
That boy was Mandy Moore's leading man in that very intellectually stimulating and true-to-life film "Chasing Liberty". Hindi naman pala super pogi. Kung magsabay kami sa bar, I'm sure pantay lang kami sa mahahatak na tsika-babes.
This guy naman with the blue blazer was the lead star of Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. Mas may hitsura sya kaysa yung dating leading man ni Mandy Moore. I think gusto nya patanggal yung saddle ng bisekleta para mas feel nya ang cobblestones..
Heto ay walking scene lang na kinunan ng mahigit 10 takes.
Kung di lang marami ako nakain, wala na sana ako time para mag-update ng blog. Heto lang ang aking pagkakataon. Super busy. Sa aking mga haters, sumama nalang kayong ma-iflush into da darkside kasama ng aking inexpel na bad vibes.
Naks, parang John Woo film. Multiple camera angles...kulang nalang mga pigeons flying in slow-motion.