It's the peak of summer and Inglatera has posted record levels of rainfall. Today, our poor middle earth village of Oxbarrio began its path to becoming an island. The jetstream that normally pushes rain way up north during summer has failed.
I know exactly who to blame. My friends Josh D. and Julius Oliver J.
Everytime they start the engines of their 1960s gas-guzzling CO2 vomiting Shelby Mustangs, another piece of Greenland melts. (Seriously, you should come to our barangay, saan kayo nakakita ng 4 na fully restored Mustangs na nakaparada tabi tabi? Oh did I tell you we also like dressing up in shagedelic Summer of Love-era clothes? Diba, hanep na sa ride, super ok pa ang aming arrive.)
Actually, I'm quite used to flooding. We experience at least three during the typhoon season per year in the mean slums of Baguio where I live. Igid ti karayan ngarud.
The flood defenses have already been breached but the peak is expected in 12 hours. As usual, The Nashman, dakilang usisero, will be there to enjoy the fun. Makikitulong na ako sa pagbuhat ng sandbag kasi hindi ko pa na-renew gym membership ko eh kelangan ko ng workout.
Suddenly, water buffalos start appearing in England proving that this flooding is a big conspiracy by Filipino expats to make this land feel more at home. Bukas magtatanin na kami ng palay wearing bright Amorsolo camisas!
This is a new river that appeared out of nowhere overnight. Hmm, what should we name it?
Do you think our cricket match tomorrow is cancelled?
Kelangan pa ba ng sign???? Hindi ba obvious???
Suddenly, a sea forms in the meadow. Meron bang Hollywood remake ng Noah's Ark?
Naks, konting arty-farty in the middle of this summery gloom.
The Nashman, being a true Filipino, charges £1.00 for every crossing of a makeshift bridge. Bah, kung ayaw nyo magbayad, tanggalin ko itong tulay, sa tubig kayo maglakad!
The Bridge between two rivers. O ha, saan kayo nakakita ng useless structure na ganyan na hindi gawa ng DPWH sa atin?
Bring it on!!!