HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit have put me on a vegetarian diet: Pasta in garlic sauce with parmigiano reggiano, taters, angus beef burger with gorgonzola filling. (Yes, it was made from scratch. It's quite obvious that cooking in the kitchen is my stress relief. And take note Ashley, angus beef yon from Waitrose at hindi pipitsuging M&S.)
Snap, snap. I think my online diary is slowly veering too much on the dark side that I need to purge. I do apologise, ang dami lang kasing bwiset.
(Kaya pala parang tuta ang tongressman namin kay Saruwoman, eh tinatapunan pala siya ng mga buto-buto. Manong Morris, apay nga napan ka dita dark side? Ay asis. We don't need naman to make sipsip to Malacanang. Our city is a first class highly urbanised area. We generate billions a year in LGU income!!!!! It's not as if we need to make palimos to that bitch Gloria Macapal-Magnanakaw Arroyo.)
Ok. End rant.
Aaaanyways, my housemates are so sweet. Yesterday, we did nothing but cook and eat and cook and eat.
Last night, one refused to share the bath tub with me to conserve water but after she was done, drew the bath for me with floating flower petals and scented candle action! And the temperature was just right! Exactly what I need to soothe my sore muscles.
However, let me first tell ya all how DIFFICULT it is to live with girls!
One pet peeve is that they always forget to put the toilet seat UP!!!!! Is that so hard to do???? I mean, everytime I wake up late at night for a pee, the toilet seat which I always leave up is miraculously down. I think if girls can't comprehend such an easy instruction, we should revoke their right to vote. Bah, if they so insist on keeping the toilet seat down, I'm just going to dribble dribble like a monsoon on the seat when I make wiwi. It's so hard kaya to aim especially when one has a boner.
And there is this small matter of hair left in the tub. (We have a house cleaner but she only comes every other day and as we are all athletes of some sort, we use the three tubs everyday.) Fortunately, it's easy to know who the culprit is as I have black hair and the rest of the peeps living with me in the Mansion are either blonde or red haired.
Black hair on the tub simply means someone's not really blond (or red) haired. (Rule number 1 of dyeing: Match the hair with the pubes or go hairless down under! It's so elementary!)
It just CANNOT be me leaving those pubes as I ALWAYS clean the tub after I soak. (And I recently shaved my bulbol 4 weeks ago, no way thay they've grown 1 inch long!!!!)
Since I often, but not always, masturbate while soaking in the tub it's only fair that I clean it up properly. (Hello, I'm 28 and in an LDR. Of course I have needs. Plus, orgasm, even if merely self-inflicted, releases endorphins which boosts the immune system. And that book we bring to the bath? Duh, it's only props. Boys would rather wank in the tub anoh.)
I rinse the tub properly becuase I don't want traces of my semen finding their way up any of my flatmate's poonana when it's their turn on the tub and ending up fertilising their eggs. Besides, if I were to 'accidentally' impregnate any of my flatmates, I'd 'accidentally' do it properly with breakfast served in bed after. I went to finishing school, I'm a proper gentleman.