I woke up early today to do some errands in London. The bus service from Middle Earth to London finally has free wifi. It's about time! I can finally fritter away money on online gambling sites and scour the deep bowels of the web for Pinoy 'Porn' while commuting.
Condemn me to hell, but Pinoy 'Porn' is hardly erotic. It's beri beri pani. Even Palanca-awardee Clinton has a copy of the classic "Sinong Nanay Mo?" audio file - "Oooh aray. What is that? Is that your peanut? Oh my god! Is beri beri beeeg. Too big yang titi mo! Ay dyus ku, yu Pilipino pancit-eating mother humper. Ang sakit! Aaaah. Aahhh. Ano na? Is dat your tongue? Oh, yis the tang, yus the tang. Not the pinger! Not the pinger. Yess the pinger! Potang-enang shet. Sinong nanay mo? Seeenong nanaay mo? Aaaay naku...aaah. Sandali, let mi wayp your mouth." Man, google this audio file and laugh till your veins pop.
Anyways, I arrived in Notting Hill to launder money via PNB and pay my Flipino life insurance before being stranded at evil McDonald's because of the strong downpour. How tragic that I'm having my morning coffee here instead of Portobello Road.
His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and I are flying to Marrakech on Tuesday. From there, we will be heading to the High Atlas for our traditional Autumn hiking. We do this every year to reboot our brain's temporal-parietal lobe.
I am the least equipped hiker out there. I don't have a swiss knife, I've never needed a compass, and I don't like climbing as part of a group. I can get by with the right clothes, comfy 4-season boots, solitude, and a map. But then again, my hiking experience has so far been limited to the Cordilleras, Scotland, and the Swiss/Italian Alps. North Africa will be a whole new world. My goal is to reach the 4,167m peak of Jbel Toubkal and get some much needed hallucinogenic oxygen deprivation. If I get too crazy, I will get as close as I can to the Algerian border.
HRO Karl Willem's sponsor, Helly Hansen, finally got the colour of the jacket right. Orange it is!
So, the first stop was specialist map and travel store Stanford's. I was looking for 1:50,000 scale topographic survey maps of the Toubkal Massif but they were out of stock. Oh well, I will just cross my fingers that I can get one in Morocco. Then, to the outdoor stores to get some basic safety gear like led lamps, an emergency blanket, water purification tablets, and an extra water bottle. I want to travel extremely light as always. I got an expedition shirt allegedly coated in high tech 'nanoparticles' which are supposed to keep the shirt 'stink free' for days. Not that it matters, I am after all Flipinoy and my religion requires me to take one shower everyday no matter how cold the water is.
To make things a lot more exciting, Ramadan has started. Out of respect, I will try my best to do as the locals and fast during the daylight hours. I will probably be hungry long before sunset.
HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit unwrap their new toy.
I also dropped by Steve Jobs' store to get a Macbook. My blog diary is now being read by 10 loyal fans of both HRO Karl Willem and The Nashman. You, dear reader, deserve a better multimedia experience. I will upgrade my blog diary soon.
I got a 14% discount and a 2GB iPod nano for practically free. I don't need the iPod nano and I'll probably trade it for a pink bicycle.
On the bus back to Middle Earth, I was eye-flirting with this pretty young thang. (Really, I shouldn't be redundant. When I say I 'flirted' it's obviously with someone pretty. Baket naman ako makikilandian sa panget???? Anong mapapala ko sa chaka-doodle-do?) Anyways, she returned my malalagkit na tingin with a smile. We could have spoken to each other but the best love affairs are fleeting and unconsummated. When we got back to Middle Earth, we exchanged one last glance and went our separate ways. I've never felt so good in a long time.
Finally, we Baguio people have looooooooooooong sausages.............
Hundreds of Baguio nutters fondling their 4.3km long sausage in public. (Photos by Andy Zapata Jr. of the Baguio Press.)
You too would be smiling if you had yummy brown sausage in your hands.....