As a child, my parents always asked me to finish the food on my plate so that one day, I'd grow up to be tall and strong.
Liars.
It's the genes you gave me gaddangit.
Well, there are a couple of short celebs out there so I'm in good company. (Not that I'm a celeb but in my small delusional fantastical world, I'm the sexiest beast to come out of Trancoville Barangay in Baguio.)
Anyways, who are my fellow hobbits? Well, I'm still taller than Prince. I'm about even with Bono before he wears those platform boots. Stand me next to Michael J. Fox and I'll be the ugly twin.
Hmm, who else? Oh, I'm definitely taller than Stephen Hawking.
I'm way taller than Danny DeVito but his hobbit charm is probably more powerful than mine. Between me and him, I think 99% of the girls will line up to shag him instead.
I guess the only disadvantage when you are a hobbit like me is that when dating a girl who is 1 or 2 inches taller, it's hard to find clothes that match your high heels.
The Nashman Lazy Dinner: Prosciutto ravioli with green pesto and rabbit food. You would have thought such wonderful food would add inches to your height instead of your waistline.
The Nashman Lunch: Gawd, I woke up at 12 noon still groggy. Had two bottles of wine with my mate and I'm going back to bed for a dvd marathon and comics reading session. Well, nothing beats Pinoy-style greasy food to help me on the road to recovery. Did I fuck up that fried egg or what? It looks ugly but it's delish.
A hobbit like me could probably fit in this condom built by Roger Bibal comissioned by Frank Cimatu for World Aids Day in my beloved hometown of Baguio. Hwag magkalat. Kung ikaw ay panget, gumamet ng lobo. Yes, apparently, they carried it all around the city before the bishops began poking holes into it with their mitres. (photo by Andy Zapata Jr.)
Finally, a condom unfurling contest for the blind. Only in my city folks. Ain't we cool? God, I'm so homesick now....
Using their acute sense of touch, the blind learn about the metric system. Hey, this is slightly smaller than what I'm used to. (photo by Andy Zapata Jr.)