I've been working at the college library this week trying to churn out a first draft for a paper I plan to submit in a month's time.
The undergraduates are back and they're busy revising for 'collections' (a glorified term for 'you better studied your lessons well during vacation dahil my surprise quiz sa first day').
I try to feed off the energy of the hardworking undergrads and I am most productive whenever I have an unobstructed view of the pretty ones. Nakaka-inspire talaga pag may nakikitang maganda. Habang nakatitig sa isang magandang dilag, tila gustong makipag-Balagtasan ang aking dila sa kanyang mga labi.
Speaking of lust, I have also been lusting for the iPhone since Steve Jobs launched it this week with its amazing multi-touch screen technology. I don't have an iPod and I don't even have iTunes installed on my Macbook but this iPhone may just be the one gadget I'll get in a long while. The Cupertino boffins and British design genius Jonathan Ive have exceeded themselves. The BBC caught the great Steve Wozniak reduced to tears of joy after the announcement and that says a lot.
The iPhone isn't cheap though. This means I'm going to have to do a lot of minimum-wager jobs to raise the $499 Apple wants for this toy.
Thankfully, I've been appointed as assistant part-time librarian at our library. The pay isn't much, at £6.18/hr it's half the rate I get for tutoring but it is still thrice what I got for each hour of hard labour in the Philippines. Of course, if there were some rich Brown Filipino-lover out there willing to use my rent-boy services, then I wouldn't have to toil so much. Nasarapan pa ako. Sadly, the rich dirty women who I count as my regular customers are spending the winter down south.
Now, since these hallowed bookstacks have never seen a Filipino librarian in their 800 years of existence, they will be in for a pleasant surprise. Our library will have the first ever 'face police' at the entrances to ensure that only pretty people can get in. For this term it will be by the 'honesty system'. The students should take a close look at themselves in the mirror before going inside the library. I will make spot inspections to see that facial standards are high. I have also put some signs to remind the undesirables to go elsewhere. Should fugly people insist on using the library, I will have to hire actual burly men as bouncers to prevent them from doing so.
Do you have a face and attitude only your mother can love? I hope you have your own library as you ain't getting in here.
You can't judge a book by its cover but if you have a face like Prospero Nograles/Pichay or Mike Defensor, what's outside is the same as what's inside and it's easy to deduce that you have a turd for a brain anyway.
Sure you've read Shakespeare, mastered Nietzsche, or wrote a thesis on Post-Keynesian Economics, but if you are fugly no one will pay you any attention anyway. So why do you need a library?