The End of The World is Nigh....

Number of people who attended my 3-4pm talk: 23
Number of people who attened Roderick's 4:30-5:30pm talk: 312

I feel depressed that more people attended Roderick's lecture than mine. Okay, he won the Nobel Prize (Chemistry) in 2003, but that's not the point.

I feel so little, insignificant, superfluous, an imperfection that Sergio Pininfarina polishes off from from the Ferrari F40, the unwanted 'retaso' that Ermenegildo Zegna snips from his suit, the slab of marble that Michelangelo chisels away from his masterpiece, the piece of footage that Hitchcock cuts from his film, the one little packet of panty liner in Giselle Bundchen's handbag that she'll never use...

(Pota, ginawa lang akong opening act. Hello! Fwidi va, I'm always the main event!! Hindi ako character actor na Bella Flores! Nora Aunor ang vwuti ko! Tangna, Headliner ako! Tapos, after my 1 hour pagdada-dada super vongga lecture na nilalangaw, merong girlash andaming tanong about my lecture. Shet konwari ka pa, eh nakita kong natutulog ka during my lecture. Bote sana kung maganda ka at bibigyan pa kita ng one-to-one tutorial. Chaka doodle-do ka naman! Tse yang mga tanong mo about quantum pheseks, pahula mo nalang kay Madame Auring!)

Anyways, thank God I have this blog. I can wallow in my self importance.

(Although, I think this is typical of all Pinoy blogs. I mean look at the Pinoy Top Blogs, or the winners of The Philippine blog awards or the much hyped about "Influential Pinoy Blogs". Who reads these shite? Only in my beloved Philippines can you find a Blogging Summit. I mean get over it. You have a blog. So what? If it's any good it will be discovered and appreciated on its own merit.)

Aaaaaaaaaanyways, enough of the bad vibes. The Central Committee for Happiness had cocktails tonight. In three weeks time, I'll be a mere civilian. Handing down the keys of power to the new government....


Reserved for El Comandante Nashman.

I brought my brand of Banana Republic leadership to Oxbarrio. While the peasants eat hand to mouth, the Politburo immerse themselves in decadance. As the Filipino Tongressman says to the mabahong masa "Let them eat Turon!"

The new El Comandante, Irishman Dave. S and the new Social Secretary Ceri. H. I leave a proud Socialist student government to a Labour Party Socialist (the real labour party before Tonio Blair shifted it to the bushes.). Bizarrely, Ceri is a Conservative. So we are looking at something similar to Mitterand's Cohabitation government. We have to be nice to her though as her National party leader also belongs to our college and we need the nepotism.

It's truly odd that I do politics here. Back in Saint Louis University, not once did I vote for anything. (As if naman it's worth my time eh walang predom of anything sa isang Katolik unebersete noh.)

But let me end all rumours. Hindi po ako tatakbong alkalde ng Lipa, Batangas. This is my first and last foray into the murky world of politics. Babalik na po ako sa pagiging artista. Teka, gawa muna ako ng pelekola, laki ng talo ko sa senatorial election. Let's make a movie called "Kapitan Barbel Plays Tatlong Baraha Part 3: So help me god make bawi the milyones I lost."

Wait! One last dig! Hoy Pichay, sana nga gumastos ka ng 200M pesoses! Nyahahahahahah! Sana ginastos mo nalang yan sa pagpapa-retoke ng panget mong mukha.